It is the role and responsibility of the adult to listen to what the child is saying during a disclosure and to carefully observe the child’s behaviour. It is NOT the role and responsibility of the adult to press for details or prove that abuse has occurred, nor to carry out an investigation. Such attempts could contaminate an investigation and jeopardize the process. When there is a suspicion that a child is being or has been abused, report to a child protection agency and ask for further direction.
Introduction
Purposeful or direct verbal disclosure occurs when a child makes the decision to tell about the abuse they have experienced. If a child chooses to disclose to you, you are likely a meaningful person in their life that they feel safe with and believes can help the situation. Sometimes, disclosure is unintentional or indirect. For example, an adult might pick up on indicators of abuse through a child’s behaviour, play, appearance, the types of questions they ask, and their fears and worries. The child may also share about an experience that indicates abuse has occurred. Whether a child discloses abuse directly or indirectly, it is imperative to keep in mind that this is a deeply vulnerable and emotionally difficult task. When we receive a child with the support, warmth, and openness they need during these times, we are validating t heir requests for help. It is also important to keep in mind that sometimes an adult may approach you with a disclosure or concern about abuse (e.g., the caregiver/parent of a very young child, etc.)
How to Effectively Respond to Disclosures
Regulate Your Own Emotions
- Try to be relaxed in order to provide a safe, calm environment for the child
- Do not project your own strong negative reactions to avoid exacerbating the child’s distress
- If the child discloses who the alleged abuser is, do not display overt shock or disapproval. Keep in mind that this individual may be an important person in the child’s life and your reaction can influence the disclosure process and future investigative efforts
- If the child does not disclose the identity of the alleged abuser, do NOT make assumptions as to who this individual is
- Do not assume that the abuse was a terrible experience and express this to the child as this may increase their sense of guilt and shame
- Be aware of the feelings that are coming up for you and be gentle and accepting of these feelings. Click here for more resources on coping with the disclosure and/or reporting process.
Offer Reassurance
- Offer the child your undivided attention
- Let the child know that this is a safe space and it is okay to talk about what happened
- Reassure the child that you will not be mad, shocked, or embarrassed by what they say
- Acknowledge and validate the child’s feelings and tell them that you believe them
- Let the child know that they are very brave to tell and that you are glad they told you what happened. Reassure the child that this is not their fault, that you are sorry it has happened, and that you will do everything you can to help
- If the child discloses in a group setting, tell them gently that what they are saying sounds very important and that you will find time to speak with them later. Find an unobtrusive way to speak with the child privately as soon as possible
- Do NOT make comments about the incident, refer to the alleged offender, or the impact of the abuse. For example, do not say: “Why didn’t you tell me before?” “How can you say things about…?” “You must be mistaken.” “They are sick and didn’t mean it.”, etc.
- Let the child know that they can come speak with you at any time
- Even if the child recants the disclosure, continue offering them support. Do NOT ask leading questions or try to probe for another disclosure
Be Aware of the Child’s Development Level and Language Usage
- Be sure to use language appropriate to the developmental capacity of the child you are communicating with
- Accept the child’s terminology or “slang” words used during the disclosure. For example, a child may not know the correct terminology for body parts or sexual behaviours. Do NOT attempt to correct the child’s language usage as it is critical for the investigation that the account of the abuse is said in the child’s own words
- If the child has a disability that affects verbal communication, allow them to use the most familiar method of communication (e.g., sign language, gestures, writing, assisted communication, usage of a technological device, etc.). Where necessary, obtain assistance from a trained professional for a child with a communication barrier
- Do NOT interrupt or fill in any silences during the disclosure with your own words even if the account is incomplete or unclear
- For a child whose second language is English, do not offer them English words. If the child speaks a different dialect of English or any other language, do not offer words in the dialect you are familiar with
- Answer any of the child’s questions as simply and honestly as possible
- Refrain from using trigger words or adult terminology such as rape, incest, abuse, wife assault, jail, etc., as they may cause alarm and/or further distress to the child. They may also hamper the investigation
Ask Open-ended Questions That Are Not Leading or Suggestive of a Specific Answer
- Here are some examples of open-ended questions: “Can you tell me more about that?” “What happened next?” “How did you get that bruise?”
- Ask only questions necessary to confirm your suspicions (e.g., “How did you get that mark on your back? “Where did you learn to play that game?”, etc.)
- Do NOT ask questions suggestive to the child or adult of what happened or who the abuser was (e.g., do not do the following: “Did you get that bruise because Mommy hit you with a brush?”)
- Do NOT question the child or adult’s account (e.g., “Are you sure it was Uncle Ted?”)
- Do NOT ask “Why?” as many children do not understand the motivation and may understand such a question as implying blame. A better alternative is “How come?”
- Do NOT try to change the mind of a child who has recanted since coaching a child or providing suggestions about what happened will hamper the progress of the investigation and case
- Do NOT ask questions because you want to prove or disprove abuse. Only child protection agencies and/or the police have the legal authority to carry out an investigation
Respect the Individual Who Discloses
- Be patient with the child or adult who is telling as it may be a very difficult process to disclose
- Do NOT interrogate the child or adult
- Do NOT undress a child (e.g., in an attempt to view injuries)
- Do NOT display a child’s injuries to others
- Respect the privacy of the child or adult and do not share their disclosure with others in an act of “gossip”
Tell the Child What Will Happen Next
- Do not agree to keep a disclosure of abuse a secret. A child or adult may beg you not to tell anyone else and you may wish to remain silent out of respect for their wishes, the confidentiality of the relationship, or out of loyalty. This can potentially put the child and others at risk for further abuse. Every individual in Canada has the legal duty to report abuse and keeping silent violates the law
- When a child is asking you to keep the disclosure a secret, it is important to reassure the child that the information will only be shared with individuals whose job is to help kids
- Do not attempt to answer questions that you do not have the answer to. For example, a child may ask you what will happen to the alleged abuser after this disclosure. Be calm and honest and let the child know that you do not know
- Do not make promises to a child that you may not be able to keep. For example, do not promise to stay with the child after the authorities arrive until you have clarified if you will be permitted to sit with the child during the investigative interview. If it is appropriate, reassure the child that you are there to support them
Follow Through on Legal and Moral Responsibilities
- Be familiar with the child protection laws in your jurisdiction. Click here to see the legislation pertaining to your province
- Report your suspicions to designated authorities in your jurisdiction. Click here for information on the reporting process
- Document the disclosure as soon as possible. Click here for information on how to document a disclosure or suspicion of abuse
- Consult with a child protection authority before contacting the child’s family or speaking with other family members (e.g., a sibling who is also in the program)
- Be familiar with your agency’s policies and reporting procedures. Please note that this does NOT mean you consult with your agency about the disclosure and whether or not to report it to a child protection agency. Always follow through on your legal duty to report first
- Do not tell the child to keep any of your discussions with them a secret
Barriers to Disclosure
Note: It is important to keep in mind that the barriers presented here do not represent a comprehensive list nor do they convey the complex interactions amongst the different factors involved. When receiving children’s disclosures, it is imperative to be aware of the complexities involved behind one’s decision to tell and the courage it takes to overcome an array of barriers. As an adult, one needs to respond with appropriate sensitivity and openness.
Children’s Vulnerability and Fears about the Consequences of Disclosure
Common barriers identified in the existing literature on barriers to disclosure include concerns about what would happen to the self, the perpetrator, and other members of the family upon disclosure (Alaggia, 2010; Ungar, et al., 2009; Jensen, et al., 2005; Crisma, et al., 2004; Paine & Hansen, 2002). In relation to the self, children report not really understanding what was happening to them and whether or not it constituted as abuse. Children have also reported not seeking help due to feeling responsible for abuse and fearing they would not be believed if they did disclose. Furthermore, not knowing what the disclosure process would entail further impeded disclosure due to fear of the negative consequences. In terms of concerns about the perpetrator, children who had an attachment to the perpetrator (e.g., a caregiver, relative, close family friend, etc.) reported being worried about what would happen to this person if they disclosed the abuse. In some cases, children were threatened by the perpetrator to keep the abuse a secret and to not tell. Finally, children also reported feeling concerned about the consequences of disclosure on other members of their families. For example, if the alleged abuser was a family member and was taken away leading to a family crisis, children may believe they were the cause of this by disclosing the abuse.
Lack of Support from Surrounding Environment
Sometimes children are not supported when they disclose about abuse. It has been found that children are generally very sensitive to and accurate about the perceived responses of their families in the event of a disclosure (Hershkowitz, et al., 2007; Staller & Nelson-Gardell, 2005; Jensen, et al., 2005). When children expect a negative response from the adults around them, they were less likely to disclose about abuse because they did not think the adults would respond effectively. When children live in family environments where relationships are unstable, communication is closed and indirect, and when violence is involved, they report being less likely to approach a family member for help (Alaggia, 2010; Alaggia & Kirshenbaum, 2005; Crisma, et al., 2004; Kogan, 2004). When family dynamics are unstable, a child may feel helpless and isolated within the family or the family itself experiences isolation from the greater community. Other barriers at the community level include lack of neighbourhood and school involvement in child safety. This can leave children not knowing where or how to access resources for help. Finally, when children do not feel supported in the disclosure process, they may recant (take back) their disclosure (Rimer & Prager, 2016). Some children may be pressured or threatened to recant, some may do so because they feel responsible for the abuse, and others may do so because of the stress experienced during the investigative process.
Cultural Factors Impeding Disclosure
Various cultural factors also impact whether or not children disclose about abuse (Chan, et al., 2011; Alaggia, 2010; Aronson Fontes & Plummer, 2010; Shalhoub-Kevorkian, 2005; Paine & Hansen, 2002). In the case of child sexual abuse, the following factors have been found to act as impediments to disclosure: cultural definitions of shame, modesty, respect, and honour, culturally-prescribed gender roles, women’s status, and patriarchal family and community structures. For example, children from cultures where sexuality is a taboo subject may find it difficult to disclose sexual abuse due to the understanding that this topic is off-limits. Overall, across cultures whereby children do not feel seen or heard, it is less likely that they will seek help in the face of abuse and if they do, they may not always be met with an appropriate response. On the other hand, cultural insensitivity (e.g., the use of broad stereotypes, lack of linguistic services, etc.) to the needs of diverse cultural communities may further prevent children and families from accessing the help they need.
Gender Factors Impeding Disclosure
The messages spread through mainstream media and society in general about gender roles and expectations can prevent children and youth from disclosing about abuse (Alaggia, 2010; Alaggia & Millington, 2008; Alaggia, 2005; Paine & Hansen, 2002). For example, Alaggia and Millington (2008) revealed that boys and men were hesitant to disclose abuse due to stereotypical expectations around masculinity and the misconception that males are immune to victimization. On the other hand, girls and women reported not disclosing due to feeling responsible for the abuse or fears of being blamed or not believed. In addition, both male and female victims of abuse reported experiencing concerns with their sexuality and sexual orientation.
Unclear Disclosures and Communication Barriers
Sometimes, children’s disclosures of abuse may appear unclear or indirect (Katz, et al., 2012; Alaggia, 2010; Jensen, et al., 2005; Staller & Nelson-Gardell, 2005). Younger children may not have the cognitive or linguistic capacity to clearly communicate their experience of abuse and may sometimes express their distress non-verbally or indirectly. For example, indicators can include a change in behaviour or refusing to visit a place. In older children, behavioural indicators of abuse may include angry outbursts, substance abuse, eating disorders, and/or running away from home. The fact that children may express their distress in indirect ways underscores the importance of adults remaining sensitive to children’s behaviours and responses and to follow up with them regarding what is troubling them. On the other hand, not all children display outward signs of distress and this can result in their distress being unnoticed. It is important not to make premature assumptions based on the presence or absence of indicators.
Children with disabilities may experience significant communication barriers that impede their disclosures of abuse. They experience significantly higher incidences of child maltreatment compared to their peers without disabilities yet underreporting is a prevalent issue (Child Welfare Information Gateway, 2012; Stalker & McArthur, 2012; Wolfe, et al., 2003). Children with disabilities may be physically or socially isolated, limiting their access to protection services (Paine & Hansen, 2002). Furthermore, due to communication barriers, their disclosures of abuse may be perceived as being less credible and thus minimized (Goldman, 1994). Finally, children with disabilities may be exposed to a greater number of caregivers across different settings, which increases the complexity around access for help around abuse. The barriers identified here do not represent a comprehensive list.
Abuse Occurring in an Organization
Abuse may happen in the context of organizations and this can further complicate the disclosure process (Rimer & Prager, 2016). Due to the authority and trust placed in various organizations (e.g., schools, religious institutions, etc.), children have been reported to have a difficult time disclosing abuse perpetrated against them or when they did disclose, they were not always met with supportive and appropriate responses (Wolfe, et al., 2003). Disclosure was also found to be difficult for children who were abused in sports organizations. One of the reasons for this is fears around disclosure impeding victims from achieving their goals in those sports (Brackenridge, 2001 as cited in Rimer & Prager, 2016). Abuse that occurs in an organization such as that of a religious institution can have severe psychological consequences on child victims that perpetuate into adulthood (Wolfe, et al., 2006). When children are abused in an organizational context, especially one that has social standing or authority in a community, this may lead them to lose connection with valuable community structures and resources due to developing a general distrust for authority figures and institutions.
References
Alaggia, R. (2010). An ecological analysis of child sexual abuse disclosure: Considerations for child and adolescent mental health. Journal of the Canadian Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 19(1), 32-39.
Alaggia, R. (2005). Disclosing the trauma of child sexual abuse: A gender analysis. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 10, 453-470.
Alaggia, R., & Kirshenbaum, S. (2005). Speaking the unspeakable: Exploring the impact of family dynamics on child sexual abuse disclosures. Child Welfare and Practice, 86, 227-234.
Alaggia, R., & Millington, G. (2008). Male child sexual abuses: A phenomenology of betrayal. Clinical Social Work Journal, 36, 265-275.
Aronson Fontes, L., & Plummer, C. (2010). Cultural and disclosure issues: Cultural issues in disclosures of child sexual abuse. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse, 19, 491-518.
Chan, Y., Lam, G.L.T., & Shae, W.C. (2011). Children’s views on child abuse and neglect: Findings from an exploratory study with Chinese children in Hong Kong. Child Abuse & Neglect, 35, 162-172.
Child Welfare Information Gateway. (2012). The risk and prevention of maltreatment of children with disabilities. Washington: Children’s Bureau.
Crisma, M., Bascelli,. E., Paci, D., & Romito, P. (2004). Adolescents who experienced sexual abuse: fears, needs, and impediments to disclosure. Child Abuse & Neglect, 28, 1035-1048.
Goldman, R.L. (1994). Children and youth with intellectual disabilities: Targets for sexual abuse. International Journal of Disability, Development, and Education, 41(2), 89-102.
Hershkowitz, I., Lanes, O., & Lamb, M.E. (2007). Exploring the disclosure of child sexual abuse with alleged victims and their parents. Child Abuse & Neglect, 31, 111-123.
Jensen, T.K., Gulbrandsen, W., Mossige, S., Reichelt, S., & Tjersland, O.A. (2005). Reporting possible sexual abuse: A qualitative study on children’s perspectives and the context for disclosure. Child Abuse & Neglect, 29, 1395-1413.
Katz, C., Herskowitz, I., Malloy, L.C., Lamb, M.E., Atabaki, A., & Splinder, S. (2012). Non-verbal behavior of children who disclose or do not disclose child abuse in investigative interviews. Child Abuse & Neglect, 36, 12-20.
Kogan, S.M. (2004). Disclosing unwanted sexual experiences: Results from a national sample of adolescent women. Child Abuses & Neglect, 28, 147-165.
Paine, M.L., & Hansen, D.J. (2002). Factors influencing children to self-disclose sexual abuse. Clinical Psychology Review, 22, 271-29
Rimer, P., & Prager, B. (2016). Reaching out: Working together to identify and respond to child victims of abuse. Toronto: Nelson Education Ltd.
Shalhoub-Kevorkian, N. (2005). Disclosure of child abuse in conflict areas. Violence Against Women, 11, 1263-1291.
Stalker, K., & McArthur, K. (2012). Child abuse, child protection, and disabled children: A review of recent research. Child Abuse Review, 21, 24-40.
Staller, K.M., & Nelson-Gardell, D. (2005). “ A burden in your heart” Lessons of disclosure from female preadolescent and adolescent survivors of sexual abuse. Child Abuse & Neglect, 29, 1415-1432.
Ungar, M., Tutty, L.M., McConnell., S., Barter, K., & Fairholm, J. (2009). What Canadian youth tell us about disclosing abuse. Child Abuse & Neglect, 33, 699-708.
Wolfe, D.A., Francis, K.J., & Straatman, A.L. (2006). Child abuse in religiously-affiliated institutions: Long-term impact on men’s mental health. Child Abuse & Neglect, 30, 205-212.
Wolfe, D.A., Jaffe, P.G., & Jette, J.L. (2003). The impact of child abuse in community institutions and organizations: Advancing professional and scientific understanding. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10, 179-191.

