Suggested Grade/Age Range: Grades 4-6 (ages 9-11)

Activity Objective: The goal of this activity is to help children set and respect healthy boundaries in friendships and all relationships. It is to help them recognize that each individual has differing levels of comfort and needs around sharing space.

Learning Goals
Big Messages to Kids

Link to Ontario Curriculum

Materials Required: (optional)

• Scenario cards
• Chart paper
• Markers to write discussion points with

Prep Time: 5 minutes

• Go over scenario cards and discussion points
• Set aside chart and markers

Task Time: 20-30 minutes

• Introduce activity
• Facilitate activity
• Have a closing discussion

Activity Description:

Opening Discussion:

1.       Engage class in a whole class discussion. Have chart paper ready to take notes

2.       Tell the class that every individual has different comfort levels in terms of how they like to share space. Give them an example of what you mean. Ask the children for some examples of how they prefer to share space

3.       Write down different ways individuals prefer to share space on chart paper to refer to later

Activity/Wrap-up Discussion:

4.       Tell the class you will be reading some scenarios and some children will simultaneously act these out. The class will then engage in a discussion about the scenario

5.       Choose individuals to act out Scenario 1. Make sure all props (i.e., desk and school materials) are ready

6.       Read the scenario slowly. Substitute the names of the individuals acting for ‘Student A’, Student B’, etc.  As you narrate, have the children act this out. Pause as needed to help guide children in acting out the scenario

7.       Once the scenario has been read and acted out, ask the class the following set of discussion questions:

For Scenario 1:

• What can Student B say to Student A in a respectful, but clear way about how they feel about having stuff on their desk? (e.g., It makes me uncomfortable/upset when your things are all over my desk. Could you please keep your things on your desk? Thank you)
• What can Student A say to the person they are sitting with next time before they place things on their desk? (is it okay if I have some of my things on your desk right now?)

For Scenario 2:

• Before going to sit with Student B, what can Student A do to help make Student B more comfortable? (e.g., ask if it’s okay to sit with Student A, etc.)
• What can Student B say to Student A in a respectful and kind way about wanting to sit alone? (e.g., I would like to read alone right now because that makes me feel comfortable. Why don’t we play together later?, etc.)

For Scenario 3:

• Before going to hug a friend, what can the individual say to the person they wants to hug? (e.g., ask for permission, confirm with the other person that s/he wants to play the ‘chain hug’ game, etc.)
• If an individual does not want to play the ‘chain hug’ game and be hugged, what can they say to communicate this? (e.g., I do not feel comfortable receiving and/or giving hugs, I would prefer to not play, etc.)

8.       Emphasize that in friendships and all relationships, it is important that we respect each other’s unique needs and comfort levels for sharing space. When we do not feel comfortable, we have the right to communicate this and we should also listen to our peers when they express their comfort levels to us

Activity Extensions:

This activity  can be incorporated as a classroom community building activity whereby a set of classroom agreements can be created around how to share space in the classroom

Additional Comments:

This activity can be incorporated as a classroom community building activity to emphasize respect for one another and can be repeated throughout the year with different scenarios that apply to your classroom to reinforce the main messages

Additional Resources:

You may also choose to review the Friendship Literature Review before implementing this activity. It can be found here.